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[Feb. 1st, 2010|08:57 pm] |
I've been kind of losing my shit lately.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2010|11:03 am] |
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My LJing is sporadic right now - so I'm sorry if I miss particularly rad posts from you guys. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2010|01:45 pm] |
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In a comment, remind me how we met! I just realized I can hardly remember how I met most of you! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2010|09:12 pm] |
"There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is being superior to your former self."
Tim Twietmeyer (the only person to complete the Western States 100-mile run more than 20 times in under 24 hours)
My self-improvement
"I'm going to exercise!"
"I'm going to read!"
"I'm going to paint more!"
"I'm going to wear real girl clothes [not my dad's handmedowns]!"
feelings have been around for - what - 8 years or some shit?
I wonder if I'll actually ever fucking do it.
I can spend weeeeeeeeks reading up on how to self improve, getting more excited the whole time. But I NEVER do a goddamned thing.
My hair's fucking falling out. I'm getting sick again. I'm high risk for cancer . . . what if I already fucking have it? I'm too afraid to go find out. I feel like I'm aging, too. I just want to feel healthy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2010|11:22 am] |
Well, I'm not getting email notifications when you guys write stuff to me.
DAMNIT.
Is there a cure?
I apologize for my no-show replies! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2010|02:02 am] |
- Just saw The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. Not exactly sure what to say. But, I do have a huge artboner. Which is turning into artblueballs.
- I'm reading a Wolverine comic right now. [Giving comic books a chance. And I'm liking it?]
- Just spent 26 consecutive days with Logan. Not even in a mock-living-together-way, but more intense in the sense that we were no more than 20' away from each other for basically 26 fareaking days. Los Angeles ---> Myrtle Beach ---> Denver ---> Los Angeles.
We had some drawing parties:
My take on steampunk:
( Read more... ) |
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| play |
[Dec. 12th, 2009|04:59 pm] |
So we had to design a box for our 2D Design final project. Procrastinated horribly and allowed myself about an hour to do it. I was dreading doing it, but as soon as I started drawing - I felt so REFRESHED. Playing with watercolors again felt so nice. Drawing things I never ever draw felt so NICE. I'm not particularly happy with the outcome, but I can't stop myself from looking over at it because it was so exciting creating something new to me.
I need to play more!
Also, I just slept for 36 hours straight and feel like shit. Holy shit?
P.S. That's Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance from The Shining in the bottom box. I must ask - could anyone tell? |
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| Finals Week |
[Dec. 9th, 2009|11:18 pm] |
Just "finished" my final painting for Intro to Painting. I don't think I've ever spent so long on an art project in my life - and I spent probably 1/2 the amount of time I really should have to have done a solid job.
Here's the reference collage I used:
( Read more... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|06:54 pm] |
So I'm working my ass off to make sure I don't get any more C's. I've spent a good 10 hours working on this small part of a collage painting - 4"x5". Ridiculously long, but I'm still figuring things out.
I'm really digging oils.
Other rad things I'll get to paint in this collage painting:
-a T-Rex
-Fiona Apple
-A growly tiger underwater
-Tim Roth with a bloodied face
-A silver Dia De Muertos skull
Also, just signed up for classes for next semester:
Life drawing. SWEET.
Typography. SWEET.
3D Design. Eh.
Comparative World Literature. Eh. [I wish I was cool enough to say SWEET after this.]
Art History. Eh. [Same.]
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| Dear Oil Painters on my FL, |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|05:37 pm] |
Yesterday, I painted with oil paints and a little bit of medium for about 6.5 hours. [not the first time i've painted that long with oil paints - i haven't had problems before]
Nearing the end, I got a crazy headache/felt arthritic and ended up passing out at 6PM and sleeping for 15 hours [waking up crying because i hurt every once in a while - it's almost 6pm and i'm still hurting. this worries me].
Okay, I realize that was way stupid of me to not ventilate the area really well, but:
The room I paint in is huge.
I did have one window of three open.
It gets literally too cold for me to function if I have all the windows open/fans going.
Should I just go get myself a freaking gas mask? I've got a ton of oil painting I'm going to need to do over the next few week, and don't want to fry my brain/get all messed up like I am now.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|05:31 pm] |
I'm in an Intro to Painting class - where we're all using oils - generally for the first time. My teacher has developed the habit of giving me C's while almost everyone else, despite skill level, get's B's or A's.
Okay - I feel kinda dick-ish writing this post - comparing grades or whatever, but I'm genuinely curious of outsider opinions.
Other students in my class regularly approach me and specifically compliment my work - ask how long I've been doing art, etc. Everyone has talked about how they're shocked my grades are always at the bottom. Everyone knows it's bullshit. [Please know I'm not as full-of-myself as I sound. I'm just really frustrated right now.]
My painting is the first one - of the little tricycle. I know it is not deserving of an A. I realize it looks rushed and incomplete. I could have spent more time on it. I genuinely have a hard time with oils - and am really excited to learn to use them properly. I think a B- would have been a decent grade for my work. I'm not happy with it - but I did put in a lot of time and effort. But, alas, I got a C.
All the other paintings I have posted got B's.
I'm not saying these other paintings are worse than mine. All these paintings have strengths and weaknesses - and I don't see why mine had to be singled out as the weakest is all.
Is this just in my imagination? Everyone in my class has let me know they think it's as bogus as I do.
Today, I asked him about my grades and he yelled at me outside for a bit. I'm going to lose my shit.
Please don't think this is some ego thing.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2009|06:26 pm] |
About that last post.
So I went to download that torrent shit - and my hard drive fucking crashed. [I don't blame any of you at all - it might have been coincidental. Who knows.*]
Long story boring:
-I had to buy a new computer.
-My car broke down and I had to pay to patch it back up.
-Got plane tickets to meet Logan's family this Christmas in South Carolina.
-And of course, I got vehicle registration stuff in the mail. $90.
I'm so broke and sad and want to go live as a hermit.
*I don't like the look of proper punctuation there
Also, that four days I just spent in the hospital - the bill came to $32,000. They literally took some blood tests, gave me an MRI, and some antibiotics. [I refused Crohn's medication - which would have hiked up the price like a bitch.]
Thank God for my dad's insurance. I'm terrified of getting older and not having my own. HERMIT. |
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| Technical Help |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|11:13 pm] |
[if this isn't allowed feel free to delete - i just figured someone here might have dealt with this same link]
I have no idea what a torrent is - or anything - so bare with me.
Might anyone be able to help me out?
I'm on a huge audiobook kick - and can't seem to find Stephen King's Desperation as an audiobook anywhere but here.
It says "Download this torrent!" Is that seriously just a file that is the Desperation audiobook? Is it safe to download that Vuze program mentioned right below?
Also - Stephen King audiobooks [even used CD's/Audible/whatever] are so damned expensive. Any suggestions for other places to get his audiobooks?
Thanks! |
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| Technical Help - TORRENTS? |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|11:04 pm] |
I have no idea what a torrent is - or anything - so bare with me.
Might anyone be able to help me out?
I'm on a huge audiobook kick - and can't seem to find Stephen King's Desperation as an audiobook anywhere but here.
It says "Download this torrent!" Is that seriously just a file that is the Desperation audiobook? Is it safe to download that Vuze program mentioned right below?
Thanks!
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| Costuuuuumes |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|05:07 pm] |
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Hardly the epic Halloween post I'm used to posting . . .
[Scar]
These were all Tygue's creations. Shelley and I are wearing [altered] costumes that Tygue made for a Tim Roth movie called Pete Smalls is Dead.
I always get sad when I have to wash off crazy make-up/remove rad costumes.
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| !Jonah Hill! |
[Oct. 25th, 2009|10:48 pm] |
Okay - I found this photo on the Internet. It's Jonah Hill and a pretty awesome tranny - at my art show. [I had no idea they were there. SO UNCOOL.]
I cannot believe how much of a loser I am - but look closely at the lower painting behind Tranny. Does that visible two squared inches of surface area look at all familiar? Yes?
YES!:
Fucker didn't buy my painting, but - at least I know my painting has been in the presence of a god.
Let's all watch Superbad. Then "Freaks and Geeks."
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2009|11:53 pm] |
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Motherfucking Complexes
This weekend I dropped down to 95 lbs. That's a total 30 lb. loss.
And I got so heavily complimented by strangers who didn't know it's because I'm sick and thought it was pretty. Damnit. Coooooooomplexxxxxxxxessssss.
How Cool People Can Be
I was also just fired for being sick. For the 2nd time. Cool, guys. Theeeeenks.
That Last Painting
When I took my painting to the gallery for it to be hung, a few people gathered around to compliment the art - saying they recognized my work from the last show. They were SO enthusiastic and even excited to meet me. It was the weirdest fucking thing. Someone walked my painting into another room, and the gallery owner promptly carried it back out and came to talk to me. He talked me up SO much and was thrilled. For the past year he's been nice to me but never really noticed me or probably cared to, but it all changed HUGELY in this moment.
I went to the show that night - the painting didn't sell. My expectations were too high as my last two sold. As I left the gallery with my painting, the gallery owner was back to not noticing me. What a bonerkill. I was SO excited there for a few hours.
Disgusting confession: I'm NOT being one of those people that asks for more LJ comments - I'm just saying - I can't believe how much importance I place on the reaction I get when I post my art online. When I get like 2 comments on my art MySpace or DeviantArt or whatever - I get SO down on myself. It makes me particularly grossed out at myself knowing this. Not a healthy habit.
Dream Come True I'll be working the freaking Queen Mary Shipwreck for the rest of the month!!! I'll be playing a vampire/ghoul/clown/mental patient/pirate/etc. in a maze sorta thing on the actual Queen Mary! ALSO, I'll be working it with Logan which is AWESOME. I recently didn't see him for about a month, and he'll be crashing at my place for a while - which'll be magical and nice. I also just told my parents about him [in a super passive weird way where they had no chance to respond] - even though we've been dating almost three years. Yike. |
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| That's the point of the thing - not to know. |
[Oct. 16th, 2009|02:00 pm] |
Here's a piece I did too quickly for the show tomorrow night. I'm SO behind in life but still did a piece when I didn't really have to. Not smart.
Worked from 8:00pm - 6:30am last night on this [session 3 of 3]. Painting has to be the only thing that can keep me up like that - working through pretty obnoxious physical pain and weariness. Also, this was one of the first times I had the painting span more than one session. [Usually I just paint ~10 hours straight.] Any time I was away from it - I was anxious - knowing that the painting had the potential to SUCK or be decent. I just wanted to get back to it and get it DONE with to find out if it would, in fact, end up sucking or decenting - just to calm down.
This was the first time where I drew out drafts, covered them with tracing paper and redrew them - altering them slightly each time. Helped tons. But, I did end up rushing the thing and not planning accordingly and fucking up tons. So I learned from this one. PLANNING.
Listening to Oingo Boingo in October = vital. |
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